Session 1 (February 16th, 2019)

Sticker is a Gruul Goblin Berserker (Barbarian) of the Gravel Hide Clan. He's short for a Goblin, with good looking hair and a fierce disposition. He carries his trusty dagger that he made while being raised amongst the Gravel Hide. While not overly smart or adept at making good choices, he’s always had a knack for knowing what to do in a fight. He is so good at fighting in fact, that Sticker’s mentor in his clan stubbornly believes he could be the best fighter in the entire clan. This despite an influential shaman in the Gravel Hide being convinced a foretelling shows Sticker’s Rival having a destiny to fulfill.

Sticker has a dark secret though, that he doesn’t feel like he can share with his clan. He doesn’t have a deep, boiling rage within him.

Recently, Sticker came upon a Simic Biomancer who was illegally experimenting on animals and killed him. It was the first time he felt uncontrollable rage, upon seeing the deep brutality of impassive science. He took the Biomancer’s short sword as his own, believing it to be a Trident, as a Merfolk had it. He also mercy killed a boar, and carries the skull of the beast with him. He’s not sure why, but knows he needs to remember this event. Most people think he just killed a boar, though.

During the investigation into the death of the Simic Biomancer, a Boros Investigator figured out what happened, and quietly went out of their way to make sure that Sticker was fairly represented, as they saw the compassion for the animals that Sticker had. That compassion and defense for the helpless animals struck a chord with the Boros Investigator, who now strongly believes that Sticker can be reformed. They see good in the Goblin and have made it a small mission of theirs to get Sticker out of the Gravel Hide Clan and into somewhere more productive for society. The Investigator sees the potential for good and compassion in him.

However, this outlook is overly rosy, as Sticker was arrested for a crime that he was going to commit by a precognition mage. He was shuffled into a room with a group of people, and his crimes were read out to him. He was found guilty by an Azorius Precognition Mage of the following counts. Disorderly conduct, refusal of arrest, the hospitalization of two Boros guards, destruction of property, and malicious arson of business property.

Sticker missed the next few convictions while trying to figure out what it meant to be found guilty for something he was going to do. After some very difficult thinking, the best he could figure was that he was going to go to a pub at some point in the future, and get in a fight with some guards, during which he would burn the building down. He also decided he probably needed some alcohol to really figure it out, as his best thoughts about anything always came after a few good drinks.

An Izzet Vedalken, with a name that was too long or difficult to bother with, was arrested for destruction of private and public property when his lab exploded. When allowed a defense, he simply stated “the explosion went quite well, all things considered.” Sticker’s initial impression of him was disinterest. The Vedalken clearly had his head in the clouds and couldn’t be relied upon for anything serious. Sticker also felt this was rather typical of the Izzet. Even the Goblins proved unreliable, often too interested in momentary bliss, not unlike a Rakdos Goblin, although the Izzet ones spent far too much time in studies preparing for those moments to know the streets and what the world was really like.

Speaking of Rakdos, a spitfire of a Goblin named Bucklechops was arrested for joining a riot, and then inciting violence. The goblin simply asked what the riot was about, to which the Azorius Precognition mage clarified that Bucklechops didn’t know after he was arrested in the future, so it was never recorded in the future and is unknown. Sticker found this incredibly entertaining for a moment. It was clear this Goblin knew how to party and knew the streets.

There was a Selesnyan Loxodon who was arrested for belligerently feeding the poor in the future without a license, and while Sticker found this to be very respectable, he also found it typical that a Selesnyan would feed the poor instead of rage and tear down a system willing to exploit the poor. The Selesnyan were like the best thing about the system, which in and of itself was proof of why the System should be torn down. He was so caught up in this rabbit hole in his head, he didn’t hear the Selesnyan’s defense.

When he finally came back to what was happening in the room, a Golgari Elf was being sentenced for trespassing on a sacred Orzhovian burial ground during a romantic outing with a female companion. According to the Golgari Elf, it would have been worth it if not for the Orzhov Thugs who happened to actually bother to patrol that night.

Once the sentencing was complete, Sticker found himself shuffled into a side room with these four others, with the Elecutor following them in. He explained that they were all going to be sentenced with life sentences or death. However, due to a need for a small group of people who aren’t associated with the Azorius, there was an offer on the table to reduce their sentences or forgive them entirely, if they helped the Azorius prove the Orzhov were forging documents to circumvent punishments for enforcers and use the law to protect the unlawful aspects of their charities and businesses.

The Azorius believe a lady named Izolda Vilenko is the lowest ring of the corruption and needs us to infiltrate her basilica and steal the cooked books that she uses to fund it. Vaa, the Izzet Vedalken, offers to go collect the plans for the basilica, and Sticker spends his downtime trying to think about what it means to do something without having actually done it. It’s very confusing. While he thinks about it, he marks good buildings to tear down for his clan.

The group meets back up, and heads down to the basilica. They get to the courtyard in front of the basilica and assess the situation. There are two thugs guarding the door, and the courtyard is about 60 feet away. As we work on determining how to distract the guards, we all fail a passive perception check and next thing we know there’s a chainhook clanking into Dumbo’s armor, the Loxodon Paladin (sigh but really Cody you do you man). We all turn around and there’s a tiny little devil cackling at us. Bucklechops, our fearless, psychotic bard, immediately realizes it’s one of Rakdos’ minions and buffs it.

Dumbo spends the next few rounds of combat trying talk Chainz, the devil, down, while I make a great persuasion check and convince the guards to come help us ‘fight the devil’ trying to turn the two groups of npc’s on eachother, and Vaa abandons the party immediately and goes inside the basilica alone. Sticker was going to try to go with Vaa, but was hexed with forced laughter by Chainz, and fell into a rage and turned back towards the rest of the group to slaughter everyone, only for Dumbo to literally talk everyone and everything down from the insanity despite Chops best efforts to stoke the combat. It really was a small legendary moment for Dumbo. He even talked Sticker down, who was practically frothing at the teeth for some action.

The guards then asked for our weapons when we got to the basilica doors, and Sticker just stared them down and went inside. The Loxodon gave up his Warhammer.

And so ends our first session